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Review of Fastest Title Loans

Fastest Title Loans

1 Star Review

Based on the quality of the writing alone, I’d have to give Fastest Title Loans a pretty mediocre rating. By the time I finished reading each page on their website, my brain was addled and my eyes were crossed.

Let me just get this quick little rant over with, and we’ll move on to the meat of the matter concerning Fastest Title Loans.

So, every single page on the website is written in the subjunctive mood, which means that instead of writing…

To get a title loan, simply fill out our easy form and we will contact you shortly with a title lender location near you.

…they’ll write:

If a person would want to get a title loan, he or she would just need to fill out an easy form and we would contact them shortly with a title loan location that would be close to them. 

Seriously, after five solid pages of this, it made me want to throw something at my screen.

Okay, Sorry, On to the Review of Fastest Title Loans

Fastest Title Loans is what’s known as a loan aggregator. They’re essentially a middleman that takes your information and shops it around to various title lenders. Now, the Federal Trade Commission warns that loan aggregators usually sell your information, including your phone number, address, email, Social Security number, annual income, bank account information, and credit card number, to whomever will part with the cash to buy it.

And indeed, if you apply for a title loan by filling out the online application, which is the only way to do business with Fastest Title Loans, you can’t submit your application until you check two boxes:

“I UNDERSTAND AND AGREE TO THE TERMS OF USE, PRIVACY POLICY, AND RATES AND FEES DISCLOSURES.” Okay, that’s fair.

“I HEREBY CONSENT TO RECEIVE EMAILS, TEXT MESSAGES AND OTHER ELECTRONIC COMMUNICATIONS AT THE TELEPHONE AND EMAIL LISTED ABOVE.” Say, whaaa? Yeah, no, I think I’ll pass.

That’s the kicker: Not only is Fastest Title Loans not actually a lender, but they also force you to agree to an influx of marketing emails, text messages, and “other electronic communications,” by which they must mean phone calls – horrifically annoying, pre-recorded phone calls at all hours from area codes all across the country, different ones every day, calls that you can’t possibly stop without going through a lot of rigamarole. It might just be easier to change your phone number once these pariahs get ahold of your personal information.







Fastest Title Loans: Welcome to Keyword Hell

Another thing that absolutely drives me bonkers about Fastest Title Loans’ website is that they italicize their keywords. Here, let’s play “Guess the Keyword!” Hint: I didn’t add the italics.

“…people all across America would be pleased to know that simply by owning a vehicle they would be able to receive up to $15,000 in fast title loan cash.”

Fast title loan cash would be easy for people all across the country to get today with an easy online auto title loans application…”

“…and they would be able to keep and drive their car during the life of auto title loans. To many people, that would be the most important part of online auto title loans…”

“With auto title loans becoming more and more popular with each individual experience all across the country, we would encourage you to please share the gift of knowledge…”

“Luckily, America has online auto title loans on their side, and that would mean if someone owns a vehicle, they would be able to get up to $15,000 in car title loan cash…”

Auto title loans would be more popular than ever all across the country, and now that it would be possible for an individual who owns a vehicle to be pre-approved online for up to $15,000 in cash in just a few minutes…”

Someone needs to tell Fastest Title Loans to update their search engine optimization practices.

Need We Even Continue?

I haven’t even gotten to the nuts and bolts of Fastest Title Loan, but you know what? Let me save us all some time.

Just avoid FastestTitleLoan.com entirely. Avoid any middleman that forces you to agree to be harassed by phone, text, and email in order to submit your application. And avoid any middleman whose website content sounds like it was written by a 12-year-old (sincere apologies to 12-year-olds everywhere) and is basically the same words on every single page, words and words and words, rehashed and rehashed and almost completely devoid of any actual information that’s even remotely helpful. They can’t even keep their dang name straight. In some places, it’s Fastest Title Loan. In others, it’s Fastest Title Loans.

Gah! My eyeballs! My OCD!

Zero stars for you, Fastest Title Loans!

Oh, one is the lowest I can go?

Okay, then, one star for you, but only because I have to!